Happily Ever… Now.

“And they all lived happily ever after.”

It’s how every fairy tale ends (okay, not absolutely all of them, but the versions most of us grew up with…). It’s what we are raised to believe. It’s what we are conditioned to hope for. It’s what we were taught to expect.

But let me ask you a question.

After…. what?

This fairy tale ending has made us believe that the “happy” specifically comes after something. And so many of us have taken this to heart in so many ways.

We’ll be happy after we graduate. After we get that job. After we get married. After we get that promotion. After we make a certain amount of money. After we look a certain way. After we have the right kind of house. Or furniture. Or lifestyle.

After, after, after.

But have you ever thought about what all of this reaching for the “after” is doing to… right now? And to our ability to allow ourselves to be, and feel, happy?

Right now in particular, we are surrounded by the thoughts of New Year's Resolutions. Whether we made them or not, whether we’ve stuck with them or not, the idea of resolutions plays solidly in line with the idea of “after.”

We make resolutions and set goals primarily with the thought that they will make us better - and that better will make us happy.

But who said that happiness needs to wait? Who made happiness conditional?

If we tie our happiness to the outcome of specific goals or resolutions, we set ourselves up to miss out on so many of the joys that life has in store for us.

There is joy to be had in every moment. In every lesson. In every step along the way. Happiness can be found in the journey, not only in the destination. But if you are so focused on the end, you risk missing most of what makes it matter. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that we shouldn’t make plans, goals or resolutions. We should. We should always strive for growth and learning. For improvement and development.

But not at the expense of individual moments. 

We need to take off the blinders as we journey towards our goals. We need to understand that sometimes the best part of the adventure is the unexpected detour. Yes, keep your eye on the prize, but also allow yourself to see the beauty, magic and joy that just happens to be at the side of the road.

I am not telling you not to strive for your happily ever after. I wish it for you - I wish for you all of the joy that your heart desires. But I wish those joys for you now, too. It is the journey that makes the story worth telling. It is the growth that makes the happy possible. 

So reach for your happily ever after. And live your happily ever now.