Actual Self Care
Self care is a very popular notion right now.
The problem is that it means something different to everyone.
And to complicate it further, that’s neither wrong… nor bad.
Let’s take it from the beginning. At its core, self care can be defined as the process of taking care of oneself with behaviors that promote health and active management of illness when it occurs.
Still confused? You should be. That definition is huge, vast, and doesn’t really narrow anything down.
Here’s the thing. With a definition that broad, it is really easy to feel like we are constantly doing this self-care thing wrong. Like we are failing, even at the “simple” task of keeping ourselves whole.
Part of the difficulty comes when we consider the varied popular culture references to self care. They range from daily necessary maintenance activities all the way to unattainable luxuries that are inaccessible to the majority of the population.
Memes and social media portray the idea that for busy, working moms, a trip to the grocery store or Target without a toddler in tow, or maybe 5 whole minutes of quiet in the bathroom or in a hot shower are acts of self care.
Magazines, movies and sitcoms have us believing that true self care comes in the form of candles, spas and luxurious retreats.
The real truth, as with most things, lies in between these two extremes.
While tending to our basic needs technically has a place in the broad definition, I don’t believe that it should be defined as self care, as it minimizes our actual needs, and diminishes the full point of self care.
Think about it. Going to the bathroom in peace, sitting down for ten minutes to eat a meal rather than shoveling the kids’ leftover chicken nuggets in your mouth as you run from errand to errand… should not be seen as luxuries. And though this world has led us to believe that anything with the word “self” in it is selfish, indulgent or unproductive (the ultimate sin), these things should not be placed in the same category.
Self care is about ensuring that we take time to meet our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs. It means putting ourselves back on our priority list. It means doing something today that shows love to the version of us that we will meet tomorrow.
And since the heart of self care is *self* it makes sense that we would each have our own definition.
So today I want to challenge you to come up with some simple ideas for self care.
It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money, it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone other than you.
Not sure where to start? Here are some suggestions:
Make that doctors appointment you’ve been putting off
Buy yourself some flowers
Meditate for five minutes
Put on your favorite podcast, even while doing your regular chores
Put on your favorite shirt/outfit
Take five minutes to organize or neaten the area directly around you
Take five minutes to do nothing other than daydream
Journal - without judgement
Unfollow/unsubscribe from emails or social media accounts that do not serve you
Remember - it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but you. And it might (and quite probably should!) look different on different days and in different situations.
The point is that you deserve true care. It’s not selfish. It’s actually one of the most loving things you can do for both yourself and those you love.