Lessons From The Spaces In Between

I was never the cool one. And I definitely wasn’t the popular one. Most of the time, I never really fit in.

I was not the one who was invited to the parties or asked for advice on clothes or dating or makeup or… well… anything trendy, stylish or, well, cool.

On the flip side, though, I was also never the outcast. I was never the one bullied or avoided or harassed. I wasn’t the freak or the loser.

I wasn’t the troublemaker.

I wasn’t the jock.

I wasn’t the prodigy.

I always… just… was.

I have always existed in the liminal state between groups, but never actually belonging fully to any one of them.

And here’s what I’ve learned from the spaces in between.

• No one really knows what they are doing. Everyone is trying to keep up with everyone else, but only with what they think everyone else is trying to keep up with.

• Everyone is looking to belong, and whether the group in which they find themselves has a “good” or “bad” reputation, what matters most is the belonging.

• Most people are too scared to allow others to change and grow. And that’s mostly out of fear. Because if they’re wrong about their opinion about someone else, what else might they be wrong about? It’s too scary a proposition for most people to truly consider.

• Life isn’t actually easier if you’re wearing the “right” clothes or getting the “best” grades.

• Everyone has a skill or talent or ability that the world hasn’t seen yet. Sometimes they haven’t even seen it yet themselves.

• Sometimes being included is harder than not being included, but everyone wants to be wanted, and it is only the fear that they won’t be included later that makes them do things.

So let me tell you this.

There are people in this world who will see the true you. Who will be excited to learn your hidden skills and abilities and who will encourage you to discover more of them. You will find places that will allow you to flourish. You will experience moments when you won’t have to try so hard - where you can just… be.

So no matter which person you are - the cool one, the popular one, the prodigy… or the troublemaker, the freak, or the weirdo… I just wanted to let you know that the label doesn’t define you. It never has. I see you. And you fit in. You always have, and you always will.