Let You Be You

I was recently at a party. A family function that included distant family and friends whom I had not seen in quite some time.  Something you might not know about me is that I have a twin sister. Doctors said that we are identical, and, while I generally trust them, she and I grew to look (and be) very different. We are different heights. Have different body-shapes. We have had completely different paths to become the completely different women we are today. 

As I mentioned, this was the first time that I’ve seen some of these people in many years. Which also means that it was the first time that they saw me and my sister together in many years.

One comment from that day stood out to me, and has been stuck in my mind ever since. A family member made a comment about how different we look from each other. Comparing us. So far as to indicate… one more favorably than the other. With a “no offense” thrown in to the other one.

(No, it doesn’t matter which one of us was which in this situation, and yes, my sister and I discussed, and agreed that we were both comfortable sharing this story.)

And it really got me thinking.

It happens all the time. You see an image, maybe in a magazine, maybe online, maybe on your favorite television show… of someone that you perceive as beautiful. Someone who you perceive to be healthy. Fit. Strong. 

So you look a little deeper. You find out what sort of diet they follow (are they vegan? Vegetarian? Do they follow a strict meal plan?) as well as their exercise regimen (how many days a week do they work out? How many hours? What is their split between cardio and strength work?)

And you think… yes. That’s it. That’s what I’ll do. If I do exactly what they do, I’ll look as healthy, strong and fit as them. If I adopt the same habits as them, I will be as happy and successful as they are.

You are not alone. In fact, advertisers take advantage of this mindset every single day, choosing models and actors to endorse their products, diets, exercise equipment or lifestyle choices who portray the image to which they want you to aspire.

What if you were told that from this day forward, what you ate and how you chose to move your body… would no longer affect what your body actually looked like. 

Would it change anything? Would it affect your choices?

Because here’s the thing. You and I could follow the exact same diet and exercise program - we could clock the same number of miles or minutes doing cardio, hit the same strength goals, we could mimic each others’ meals, having identical plates for every meal or snack, drinking the same amount of water and getting the same amount of sleep every night. Heck, we could even share the same genetic material!

And guess what.

I would still look like me and you would still look like you.

Because humans were not built to look the same, to have the same needs, or even to respond the same way to everything.

And guess what else.

That is a beautiful thing.

What would happen if, instead of asking the world, social media, magazines, movies and television shows what you needed, what would make you happy, how you should look or how you should feel… what if you asked yourself?

Because your body will tell you. Your heart will give you the right answer, if only you are ready to listen to it.