Dear Me, I Believe In You

Dear 5 year old me,

Wow, you’ve been through so many changes! I know you’ve moved a couple of times, but don’t worry - you will make new friends now that you’re starting school. There are so many people to meet and things to try. I know it’s scary to start something new, but I promise it’s worth it!  I believe in you.

Dear 11 year old me,

I can’t believe how much you’ve grown and learned! I know you want to be an architect when you grow up, but do me a favor and don’t close yourself off to any options. I know the kids at school are all starting to grow and change, and that friendships are getting complicated. I know it’s sad watching your friends from last year go off with different people. I’m really proud of you for staying true to who you are. I believe in you.

Dear 16 year old me,

Hey there. What a year Traveling, experiencing different cultures and living away from your parents for the first time. You’ve had some really huge feelings this year and I know they’ve been difficult to figure out. It’s hard when you don’t feel like you fit in. Especially when it looks like it’s coming so easily and naturally to the other girls. One day you’ll know that nothing came easily to any of them. And that the kind of popularity they have… isn’t the kind that actually means the most to you later. But I know that doesn’t make it any easier right now. I know it gets hard, I know it gets lonely. But I know that you are strong. I believe in you.

Dear 21 year old me,

Congratulations on graduation college! That’s huge! I know it was quite a journey, but I’m so impressed with the way you stuck with it. And what’s the most amazing part is that you figured out how you truly learn! I know you wish you’d figured that out sooner, but just because you’re graduating now doesn’t mean that the learning is over! No way, girl - it’s only  just beginning. I know you’re a little overwhelmed right now, watching all of your friends go off into the corporate world, seeming to really know who they are and what their next chapters look like. I promise that they’re just as confused as you, and that, even though some of them have jobs and apartments all lined up, their futures are just as big a mystery as yours. Everyone’s path looks different. I believe in you.

Dear 29 year old me,

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! Can you believe it?? You made an actual human! That’s… absolutely awe inspiring. I know you’re scared. I know it feels like way too much responsibility. I know you wish you had someone who could help you navigate this. I know that you wonder every day if you are doing it right or if you’re messing her up irrevocably.  Take a deep breath. All that matters is that you love her. The rest will work itself out. Remember that she is her own unique human with her own thoughts, feelings, ideas, goals and dreams. Some will feel so achingly familiar to you while some will feel completely alien. Your heart will both break and swell as you watch her grow, change, fail and succeed at all of the challenges life will throw at her. And I know you’re going to want to protect her from feeling any of the pains and difficulties that you have experienced. But let her be her, and also let you be you. Together you will make it through this. I believe in you.

Dear me, right now,

I can’t believe how many different versions of us there are in this heart, in this soul, in this body and in this mind. Sometimes I wonder how we did it. How we survived. How we made it to where we are right now. The road has definitely not been straightforward. There have been so many curveballs, so many obstacles… but guess what - you have made it through each and every one of them, and you are so much stronger for it. I know you still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up, but I also now know that that’s totally okay. Your kids get to watch you try new things. They get to see you try your hardest. They get to see you get up when you fall. They get to see you become the version of you that is most authentic each and every day. You have found people and places that allow you to figure yourself out. You are learning what matters most. And you’ve learned that you don’t need to be the same person you were at 5, at 11, at 16, at 21, at 29, or even yesterday. I am so glad that we got to be each of those versions of us, but I’m also excited to see what version of you I’ll get to meet tomorrow. And never forget. I believe in you. I believe in us.