Older, Wiser, Brighter: A Birthday Reflection for Anyone Who Needs It
I turned 28 yesterday and honestly, I’ve been trying not to think about it. Aging scares me. Beginnings are always accompanied by endings. Change, good or bad, tends to make me a bit sad. I know that I’m not unique in any of these feelings, which is exactly why I wanted to share them today. For me, each birthday brings with it an existential angst that I try my best to outrun. But perhaps this is the year I accept that self-reflection is not, in fact, the worst thing that could happen to me. I’ll start small, with some thoughts, lessons, and reminders that impacted me over the past year. I hope that they might resonate with you as well.
I have patience to thank for every one of my wins this year. I stopped stubbornly rushing things and reaped the benefits of working consistently and quietly. This was perhaps the most important lesson I learned this year, and one that I will carry with me far beyond the next.
If you pay attention, you will feel yourself relax around the right people. I have been wired to always put the comfort of others above my own. That, coupled with being very introverted, had me convinced that I’ll always be uncomfortable in groups of people, whether I was close with them or not. As it turns out, it’s just taken me 28 years to find the people who make me feel seen, heard, and valued, no matter how different from each other we may be.
I know nothing, and that is a beautiful thing. Socrates and Plato described a wise man as being one who is aware of the boundaries of his knowledge. We often use the phrase “older and wiser”. Well, I hope that I am, and continue to be, wiser in the sense that I am aware that l do not, and cannot, have it all figured out. Besides, it is hard to be curious if you are too busy being frustrated about not having all the answers.
Old wounds can heal. It will hurt, and often it will be a slow process. But the part that became most clear to me this year was that sometimes the most important part is advocating for your past self, to your current self. You are not obligated to shed any past versions of you to heal, grow, or mature. In fact, striving for a deeper understanding of those past selves each year may be the thing that will transform any healing process that needs to take place.
Each year is a gift. The world is chaotic, confusing, and beautiful. I’m just happy to still be here.