Out Of Uniform
I had a conversation with a friend the other day that sparked an unexpected reflection. We were struggling with what to wear to a concert. After much (admittedly fruitless) deliberation, we got to the root of the problem: we didn’t know the uniform. For this particular genre of music, we had no idea what to expect from our fellow concertgoers in terms of dress or style.
If I added up the hours I’ve spent in my adult life alone trying to decide what to wear to an event, I’m sure I’d be shocked. This seems to be a problem we all face. Whether we like to admit it or not, it stems from a desire, a need even, to appear to fit in with those around us. We desire to mesh with the crowd. Because God forbid we hear the whispers of our peers calling is out of touch for not knowing the proper dress code.
I spent twelve years in Catholic school, and, secretly, always loved my uniform. Was it boxy, dull, and uncomfortable? Absolutely. But we all looked boxy, dull, and uncomfortable together. By limiting our ability to express ourselves with clothing, uniforms crossed one item of the list of things we could be ridiculed for. Teenage me was thankful for that. I continue to breathe a sigh of relief at each event where the proper attire is clear. And, honestly, that breaks my heart.
It is okay to want to be comfortable. It is okay to not want to be the center of attention. But while toning down our appearances may feel easier, it robs us of potential joy. Believe it or not, I’ve got a lot of loudness in me. I have...unique outfit ideas that have never seen the light of day. Growing up surrounded by the idea that dressing differently came off as a cry for attention has left me constantly scanning the crowd to make sure I don’t appear out of place. And so I have continued to mute myself for fear of appearing to think I’m anything special. What I have come to see in myself is that this issue is about the clothes...until it isn’t.
How we present on the outside can expose where we are in our hearts and minds. It can show how well, or not, we can sit in comfort with ourselves. It is incredibly difficult to step back from wanting to mesh. That journey doesn’t have to start for you this week, or even this year, but it is truly worth considering. I encourage you to pause next time you ask, “what will everyone else be wearing?”, and let that invite you to delve deeper. What parts of who you are are asking to be allowed to shine Be colorful or be dark—as long as it is you. Dare, even just for a moment, to let yourself be seen. Next time you show up, show up out of uniform.