On Girlhood

I think it was the snowstorm that got me in my head a bit this week. I wouldn’t call myself a frequent daydreamer, but I’ll admit, being holed up inside while watching the snow fall took me back to being a kid again. There is a word for this feeling that kept echoing in my head: girlhood.

The urges to curl up with a book and hot cocoa, or to run aimlessly through the snow, represented a yearning for a version of myself that I have not visited for quite some time. There is a softness in enjoying small things, and in romanticizing them, that it has a tendency to fade as we progress on the journey toward adulthood. Some of us are hardened by life experience. Some of us simply grow out of it. I suspect that, for many of us, it is a combination of both. This isn’t our fault, nor is it inherently bad—it just…happens.

I have reached a point in my life where I am finally willing to admit to being a romantic. Truly, I always have been. But certain experiences have made it feel trivial to entertain that side of me.

After spending the majority of my teenage years just trying to get by, it felt like a naive reversion of some sort to miss the simplicity of being young. The beautiful thing I’ve realized is that it can be a great kindness to ourselves to stop putting an expiration on girlhood.

Now, this term and the state of mind accompanying it can look different for everyone. Normally I would never do this…but I am going to turn to Urban Dictionary for a second to provide a cultural definition instead of a literal one.

Girlhood: “The state, shared experience, and mindset of being a girl. Not yet a woman, but the coming-of-age memories/moments each girl experiences as they grow. Girlhood can be shaped by both shared and individual experiences, feelings, and moments in a girl’s life”.

To be clear, I do not present this definition as a sweeping, reductionist generalization about the diverse forms of childhood we have each experienced. I want to acknowledge that no one’s life is without challenges, and that rosiness and ease are not terms associated with childhood for all of us, myself included. There is not time to unpack all of that here—so for today, I want to draw our attention to the mindset portion.

What is girlhood to me? Girlhood is Judy Blume books, fresh air, and having nowhere to be. It is the luxury of having time to daydream. It’s the feeling of a clean slate that comes with fresh snow, and not being afraid of silliness. Perhaps most of all, it is returning to a point when I was not afraid to see beauty in the world, because life had not yet scared me out of that mindset.

Take a moment and think—what is it to you? What scene, or feeling can you return to for an unabashed exhale? Cherish it, and do not be afraid to reach for it often.