Those Who Wait

“Good things come to those who wait”. We have all heard this phrase. Frankly, I have always hated it. It is a phrase spoken in periods of discomfort. To me, it has always felt like a lukewarm attempt at encouragement that I would liken to a pat on the head. We live in a world of now. Three-day shipping feels outrageous. We get irritable when texts go unopened for an hour. And we need happiness... yesterday. But, how often do we think about the role we play in receiving those good things into our lives, should they finally come?

I grew up believing that the ability to grit one's teeth in the midst of adversity was a skill to be admired. I dedicated much of my time to building a solid suit of armor. Before each potentially exciting event or opportunity, I would sit and prepare myself for the worst possible outcome. After all, if we have imagined the worst enough times, it will come as less of a surprise when it inevitably happens, won't it? While I thought that this practice of preparatory “meditation” was making me stronger, I now see that I was writing myself the part of the perpetual loser in the narrative of my own life. Somewhere along the line, “Good things come to those you wait” dissolved into “No matter how patient I am, good things do not stick to me”. I had convinced myself that any good fortune I experienced was more likely a fluke in the universe than the result of my own hard work or a genuine blessing. Each time I received good news or an opportunity, I would take a moment to remind myself that it would be taken away eventually. That is, until recently. I have finally begun to snap the hell out of it.

I used to push back hard against the idea that the energy we emit has anything to do with what we receive in life. While I certainly do not believe that our hardships are directly brought on by ourselves or our lack of “good energy”, it has been eye opening to watch my life shift as I've learned to let go. It seems almost comical to think of receiving as a skill one has to learn. As children, we “learn” to, receive physical things—to say thank you for our birthday gifts, our meals, etc. As we grow and are shaped by the world, it can become more and more difficult to receive. How many times have you brushed off a compliment? How many times have you deferred credit for a project to someone else? What has made us so closed off to receiving good things such as these unabashedly? Well, I'm sorry to say that I don't have all the answers. What I can do, however, is share a bit of encouragement to take a look at the way you receive, or refuse to receive, in your daily life. It takes a lot to let out a breath and let go of the narratives that we have built for ourselves. Old Stories, whether written by ourselves or others, become places of comfort and familiarity. Ernest Hemingway once said, “The first draft of anything is shit”. This is perhaps a jarring way to put it when referring to the narratives of our lives, but also worth pausing to consider.

This year, I did a lot of waiting. I worked, I hoped, and I occasionally screamed into my pillow. But once I loosened my grip on my old story, I watched things begin to fall into place. I stopped fighting against opportunities and allowed myself to take credit for earning them. I let my mind wander to all the good things that could happen, instead of just the worst. Now, I am even allowing myself to fall for someone, and spending a little less time each day checking to see if there is a safety net below me. I can't help but think that there is some truth to the idea that I wasn't receiving because I refused to teach myself how. Do I still need to remind myself sometimes that the universe isn't just fooling me? Absolutely. But, the more that I’ve opened my arms, the less I have had to do so. And so I have learned, that yes, good things do come to those who wait, but being willing to receive is half the battle.