Who Are You?
At a certain point in our lives, people generally expect us to have it all together. To know who we are, what we are doing, and where we are going. We are expected to be able to give a simple, straightforward elevator pitch on ourselves, and to proceed predictably through our days following that blueprint.
I don’t know about you, but that… isn’t exactly how my life has unfolded.
If anything, I think I might be more confused now than I’ve ever been as to who I am, what I want, or where I’m actually headed.
The question is… how do we actually know who we are?
If you ask me, there are infinite versions of each of us that exist right now, in this very moment. And every single one of them is as real and valid as the others.
No, I’m not talking about some fantasy or scientifically-complex multiverse theory, though… hey, who knows? I’m talking about the real world in which we all live and move. Every one of these versions of each of us exists right here. Right now.
These many, and probably vastly differing, versions exist in the thoughts, feelings, memories and experiences of every person whose path each of us has crossed in our entire existence, with even more versions existing in the minds of each person to whom each of those people has mentioned you. And so on and so on.
To some, you are a hero. To some you are a villain. To some, you are living an ideal, charmed existence. To some you are a cautionary tale. In the eyes of one person, you are a princess or a queen, beautiful and fair, powerful and just. In the eyes of someone else, you are the antihero - the spoke in their wheel or the thorn in their side.
And here’s the thing. I am inclined to believe that none of these versions, none of these experiences of you that exist in this universe… are wrong.
The question is… how do we know which of these versions is the real one? The true one? The authentic one?
Right off the bat, let me tell you that I don’t have a real answer to that - I don’t have some magic set of steps that you can take to realize your true, authentic self and live happily ever after.
Trust me - I wish I did.
But.
That doesn’t mean that it’s impossible.
I think, though, that maybe what we need to do is flip the question on its head in order to actually answer it honestly.
From the moment we are born, the world tries to tell us who we are. Maybe they base it on our gender. On our height. On a talent that just came naturally to us. Maybe it’s based on where we were born or on our generational experiences or on any number of other determining factors that are completely out of our span of control.
So maybe this journey of learning who we are actually begins with doing the opposite. Maybe we need to start by learning who we aren’t… despite what others think. Which… might be an even harder task.
Here’s what I can tell you with confidence.
You are more than the sum of your parts. You are more than a collection of experiences and accomplishments.
You are more than who your parents, grandparents, great-grandparents etc were, or even than what they expected of, or hoped for, you.
You are more than the places you have been and the things that you have seen.
You are more than your medical or educational history.
You are more than your job, your family status, your hobbies, your fears.
You are the version of you that resides in the hearts, minds, experiences and memories of everyone around you, and none of those things all at once.
So keep learning. And unlearning. Keep trying new things. Making new experiences. Meeting new people and making new impressions on the world. Don’t be afraid to leave your mark - any mark. They all matter. And they all make a difference. In your journey and everyone else’s.
Keep becoming.
And unbecoming.
And, for what it’s worth, of all of the versions of you that may or may not exist in this (or any) universe, I hope that the one reading this right now is the one experiencing the most love, the most joy, and the most fulfillment of them all.