Compassion Fatigue

Compassion.

We have talked about it a lot. Here on the blog, on our podcast, in workshops. We talk about it as part of our VIBE - part of what makes our community different. Unique. Special.

And it’s all true.

But the world is changing. In dramatic and unprecedented ways.

We see more. We hear more. We know more. 

About atrocities in communities near and far. About horrors experienced by people just like us and nothing like us. About diseases and how they spread. About the myriad crises occurring in the lives of individuals and in countries across the globe. 

Our bodies and minds were not designed to take in this much information. Our nervous and adrenal systems were not built for this amount of input, this intensity of… well… intensity. While we may think that our current response is purely emotional, in truth, the level of burnout being experienced by so many of us is physiological. What we are seeing now is proof that compassion has its limits.

We are experiencing what is known as Compassion Fatigue.

According to Wikipedia,

Compassion fatigue is a condition characterized by emotional and physical exhaustion leading to a diminished ability to empathize or feel compassion for others, often described as the negative cost of caring. It is sometimes referred to as secondary traumatic stress.

Compassion fatigue is most commonly discussed in care professions - doctors, nurses, veterinarians, therapists, psychologists, hospice care professionals, first responders and others whose primary function is to work directly with victims of traumas, accidents and tragedies. 

But in this day and age of a lightning fast news cycle filled with de-contextualized images of pain, suffering, and tragedy, this condition is spreading to the masses. Humans are designed to reflect and resonate with the emotions around us - there are specialized neurons designed for this, which help us to intuit whether a person or situation is safe or dangerous. But in a world where we are constantly bombarded with strife, fear, and suffering, this mirroring trigger response is constantly activated. When we spend all of our waking moments absorbing the world’s suffering, our systems soon become overwhelmed - flooded with the emotions being projected our way. And much like when you try to shove too much into a box, our systems can only handle so much. Our capacity for compassion becomes overwhelmed, and oftentimes it changes what would previously have been a compassionate response into one of either indifference or fear.

I know all of this sounds depressing. And maybe a little scary.

But we are all feeling it - many of us simply haven’t actually KNOWN what it is we’ve been feeling. 

We’re tired. We’re irritable. We aren’t sleeping as well. Our patience is wearing thin and our tempers are closer to the surface than ever before. It affects our appetite. Our motivation. Our concentration.

And most of us… blame ourselves.

We are emotionally depleted from a world asking us to feel everything. 

And here’s what I want you to remember. 

It’s not your fault.

It isn’t a sign of weakness. It isn’t a moral or personal failing. It is a signal to ourselves that something needs to change. That we need to refill our own buckets before we can continue pouring out for others. That we need to care for our own spirit and soul so that we can continue to care for a world that seems to be burning around us.

So now that we’re aware of it, the question is, what can we do?

The first step is to recognize the symptoms and how they manifest in you. This will be different for everyone, so it’s important to take note of when a reaction or emotional response of yours does not feel authentic - when it doesn’t match who you know yourself to truly be.

The second step is to give yourself space - both physically and emotionally. It’s helpful to try to do something each day that gives you the opportunity to be present with yourself. Maybe it’s a brief  meditation, some restorative yoga. Maybe dancing it out with your tribe! The activity itself is not what matters. What matters is that it allows you to decompress from your day and feel a sense of groundedness and connection to help carry you forward. 

Another helpful, yet often difficult, suggestion is to reach out to trusted friends or loved ones. Emotional detachment and compassion fatigue often feel like personal failings which we then try to hide. We tend to bottle up these feelings and isolate ourselves. But this actually perpetuates the cycle. And I bet you’ll be surprised at how many people around you can not only relate, but will be relieved to know that they are not alone.

Remember - burnout and compassion fatigue do not mean that you are turning into an unfeeling, uncaring person. Quite the opposite. Accepting the presence of compassion fatigue in our lives actually serves to validate the fact that we are deeply caring individuals.