The Resilience of Us: A Brief Contemplation

Confession: there have been times in my life where I couldn’t see overcoming.  Where I anticipated, even experienced, hard losses and couldn’t imagine how I would ever recover.  But I always did. 

Now, with age and experience on my side, I know I can always be okay.

I even have a bit of real data to back it up: studies have shown most people are generally resilient.  We now know that a majority of people recover from trauma and are resilient, and that some people even grow stronger; in fact, the possibility of PTG (Post Traumatic Growth) is virtually equal to the possibility of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) after trauma and hardship.

Most people bounce back from adversity most of the time. But we live as though we don’t trust that we will.

Try to be honest with yourself, how much of your energy is spent protecting yourself from emotional pain?  What risks are you not taking?  What dreams are you holding yourself back from?  What connections are you not fighting for?  What are the things you feel but won’t say or even allow into your own consciousness?  How often do you choose to remain agreeable in circumstances that go against your values and beliefs?  What intuitions have you ignored?  How often do you play it safe?

Most of us much of the time, make choices big and small, that avoid emotional risk. Do you ever wonder, what are we losing when we don this self-protective armor?

Face it, you cannot live and love and strive without risk of hurt, pain, disappointment, loss, or heartache.  Not unless we disconnect from our emotions completely, in which case we also disconnect from joy, excitement, connection, inspiration, awe and all the things that make life actually interesting. 

So instead, what if we remembered our resilience, reminded ourselves of the times we were knocked to our knees but survived?  What if we believed in our human capacity to get back up?  What if we had faith that we would find a way through, because in fact we always have?

How would we live then? 

How would you?