Tuning Out to Bloom Within
When is the last time that you checked in with your inner voice? Not the one that tries to discourage you or tries to sow doubt in your mind, but the voice that is rooted a little deeper. That is, the one that speaks for your most authentic self. Maybe it is more of a whisper. Maybe years of burying that voice to focus on pleasing others has made it difficult to hear. Or, maybe, it just needs a gentle nudge to grow even stronger. As we enter a season that embodies growth and renewal, it is the perfect time to listen closely and nourish our truest selves.
First of all, why mention “tuning out”? Well, here’s the thing: the world has become so much smaller. As a result of the reach of technology, particularly the internet and social media, we have vast amounts of information at our fingertips at all times. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we are constantly absorbing facts, opinions, debates, advice columns, etc. In addition, we often have the input and influence of those physically around us, solicited or not. With all of that external input happening on a daily basis, it is easy to lose track of the most important input of all: our own. Now, none of us are islands, nor should we be. But it is worth considering that it is impossible to grow individually, (or as part of a community), if we aren’t awake and aware of our own core truths.
Distancing yourself from the outside noise takes conviction. It is an active choice to trust yourself, and it can be a terrifying one. If you have spent a long time making choices for the sake of others, your own inner voice may feel rusty or weak. That is because it has not been nourished. Nothing blooms to fullness on its own—it must be cultivated. The first step to growth is acknowledging this. The second is much more challenging. Second, you must adopt a willingness to be wrong.
For example, perhaps you were seeking advice on how to navigate a difficult friendship. So, you scour the internet and thumb through self-help books—in other words, you consult those whom you believe know better than you how to handle the situation. Eight out of the ten articles you read tell you that your thought process is all wrong. The other two tell you that you shouldn’t even be feeling this way to begin with. Your first instinct may be that they must be right. After all, they are the “experts”. According to their research or experience, the way that your gut was telling you to handle the conflict must be doomed to fail.
But, shouldn’t you be the expert in your own life? After all, you are the one in the relationship. No outsider could ever grasp its nuances, quirks, and emotions. Your initial or “gut” reactions, as well as the thoughts that follow from processing those reactions, come from an intimate knowledge of the situation and, hopefully, of yourself. Having acknowledged that, it becomes time to take that leap: to trust your gut, and to possibly be wrong anyway.
In a lot of ways, we have programmed ourselves to avoid risk. We live in a fast-paced society, and making safe choices helps ensure comfort, or at least predictability. After all, why jump without looking when we could do a costs and benefits analysis instead? Which method secures a better outcome? The question becomes, what is “better”? Well, “better”, if we choose to accept the challenge, is what is authentic to ourselves. As we grow and change, so will the definition of our own authenticity. And that is ok! The choices that were authentic to you when you were sixteen probably look different than they do now. The important thing is that we don’t betray ourselves in the name of people-pleasing or comfort.
It is no small task to build trust in yourself in a world that is flooding you with criticism and advice. But there can be no growth without trust. This is just as true for our relationships with ourselves as it is for our interpersonal relationships. I encourage you to take the leap, tune out the background noise and do two things—first, dig up that inner voice and second, have the guts to listen to it. Yes, take care with your decisions, but stand firm in your intuition. After all, it matters. You matter.
And you are the only one who gets to walk in your shoes.