Your Mental Kaleidoscope
“There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them in a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages”.
-Mark Twain
It used to make me incredibly sad to think that this could be true. Is everything we do truly unoriginal? A repeat of something that someone else, at some point in history, has already done, said, or thought? The answer is: yes and no. But don’t despair! Today I want to discuss fears of unoriginality, how they can snowball into imposter syndrome, and a bit of hope for pulling ourselves out of it.
A few days ago, I had one of the first conceptual photoshoots that I’ve done in a while. I was so excited, and even confident, during the shoot—about the concept, the location, and the photos themselves. But as we were packing up and I was looking through the shots on my camera, my perspective flipped. I squinted harder at my screen and said to myself: “Is there anything new about these photos? I’m sure they already exist somewhere on Instagram. Did I bring anything valuable to the table?”. I left with a lump in my throat as insecurity about my artistic vision continued to creep in.
Most of us have experienced moments like this, in a variety of situations. Have you ever presented an idea, for example, only to think that anyone at all could have said the same thing? Or have you ever offered input on a topic you’ve studied, only to question your expertise after the fact? Well, these feelings can be categorized as imposter syndrome.
The Oxford Dictionary defines imposter syndrome as “the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills”. In other words, it is the belief that when you achieve something, you will eventually be “found out” as undeserving of any praise or credit for that achievement. This includes the fear that you will be found to have been masquerading as someone presenting original or impactful ideas, be it in your professional field, creative endeavors, or day-to-day life. Personally, these feelings have crushed my ambition many times. After all, why try something that is new for you if it has already been done, or been done better, by somebody else?
While all of this may sound discouraging at first, I have good news to offer you: everything that you do is by definition original, because you are an original. Now I don’t mean to claim that originality is the ultimate measure of value—I could write an entire post debating that alone. But for now, I want to focus particularly on the fear that our ambitions are not worth pursuing if “there is no such thing as a new idea”.
So, here’s the thing: no matter how many times a thing has been done, it has never been filtered through your unique “mental kaleidoscope” before. You are an unrepeatable combination of atoms, experiences, and ideas. No matter how many people throughout history have studied a subject, or tried a hobby, or even raised children, none of them have done so with your unique touch. Your interest in physics is not rendered pointless because you are not Albert Einstein. You don’t need to match Baryshnikov’s pirouettes for dance to be a worthwhile pursuit. Your novel may not be Jane Austen’s but thank goodness for that—it would be a boring world if it was. Next time you find yourself comparing your abilities to someone else’s, take a moment to thank those before you for laying the groundwork. Think of how beautiful it is that those “same old pieces of colored glass” are being touched by you for the very first time. You, unrepeatable you, are a novelty in your own right. You are not an imposter. You are a valuable participant in the collective journey of human ambition, and no one could ever replace you.