Emotional Decluttering
I was cleaning the house the other day and found myself becoming increasingly frustrated with the piles of… well… stuff.
Everywhere I turned, there was stuff. Papers, clothes, shoes, books, games, craft supplies…
Now, before you go rolling your eyes and telling me what a first-world problem this is, trust me. I know. And also… bear with me.
It makes sense, you know? As we travel through life and all its various stages, we collect things. Proof of who we’ve been and what we’ve done. Mementos. Souvenirs. Relics. Physical manifestations of the people, places, things, and experiences that make up our lives.
The more I thought about it, though, I realized that, just like these objects that have piled up in my living space, there are other, less tangible things that I have collected over the years. And these things are also creating piles, collecting dust, and taking up more real estate than I’d intended. It’s just that the space that those other things are occupying cannot be seen - they can only be felt.
And just as the physical things inside my home can begin to feel overwhelming, so too can the things inside my head, my heart, and my soul.
On the coffee table, it’s a book. In my heart, it’s the unkind word spoken to me by someone in middle school. On the kitchen counter, it’s discarded schoolwork left by one of my children. In my soul, it’s the preconceived notion of what kind of mother I thought I would be. In my closet, it’s the dress I wore to a friend's wedding that maybe I will fit into again someday… and have another occasion to wear it. In my head, it’s the pressure to meet some societal ideal of beauty.
Now, we know that there are so many reasons why decluttering our physical space can be difficult. Maybe we have developed emotional attachments to our items, linking our self worth to our possessions. Maybe we feel guilty for discarding something that was given to us as a gift, or we feel like a bad parent for getting rid of something our child made in preschool. Maybe we’re scared that if we throw away that item that we haven’t used in five years, we’ll suddenly have a need for it in a day, a week, or a month. Maybe we have grown so accustomed to all of the stuff that we have accumulated over the years that we are afraid that our homes - and lives - will feel empty without it.
And maybe it’s the same for all of the mental and emotional “stuff” we are carrying, as well. Maybe we are afraid that if we “throw away” the patterns, thoughts, habits, and beliefs that we have held on to for so long, that we will no longer recognize ourselves. Maybe we fear that if we release the wrong thing, that we will lose ourselves completely.
But the truth is, decluttering can be a very healthy way of prioritizing. That sorting though our possessions can help us to remember how we have come to be who and where we are at this moment in time - and to realize that the stuff isn’t what makes us… us. The truth is, sometimes, letting go of the stuff in our homes and lives that are no longer serving us, can actually help us to make room for things that will make us even more ourselves than the things we have now.
So while I can’t tell you what to get rid of in your physical space, here are some suggestions of things that we should all consider decluttering from our hearts, minds, and souls:
Let go of what you thought it should look like.
Let go of where you thought you could, would, or should be.
Let go of the shoulds, the doubts, and the limiting beliefs.
Let go of the expectations of others.
Let go of comparisons.
Let go of the things in life that you cannot control.
Let go of the regrets and resentments of the past.
Let go of the idea of who you thought that they would be. Of who you thought that you would be.
Let go of anything that is holding you down or slowing your progress.
In your home and in your heart, in your physical space and in your metaphysical being, it’s amazing how much you can gain by letting go.