Permission Slip

We are born knowing only what it is we need at this very moment.

We know when we are hungry. We know when we are sleepy. We know when we are hot or cold or otherwise uncomfortable. We know when our needs are being met, and we know when they are not.

As babies, we are born knowing only ourselves - not the big, bright world around us, not the rules, customs or social norms that create, control and bind communities and societies.

And then we grow up, and things begin to change.

Think about it for a second. A baby doesn’t ask permission to have their needs met. They know only the need, and do what it takes to have it met. Yes, that is largely due to their lack of ability to control the systems of their body or of the world around them, but it is also due to the fact that babies are born intuitive - trusting that their bodies will do what needs to be done and that their surroundings will supply whatever is necessary to see to their survival.

But soon, expectations change. Infants grow into toddlers who are expected to follow rules and schedules. That same world that so attentively (hopefully) tended to their needs mere months ago now begins to demand patience, but also adherence to a set of rules that are different. Foreign. Weird.

Rules that often break down the sense of trust that they were born with

“May I go to the  bathroom?” may be met with “you just went - wait until the next break.”

“May I have a snack?” may be met with “it’s not snack time yet,” or “you just had lunch.”

“May I leave the dinner table?” may be met with “but it’s still dinner time. Sit still.”

I know, I know - we are trying to teach our kids how to exist in the world at large. We are trying to teach them to fit in.

But each of these exchanges, each of these instances, chips away at the trust that was so inherent in us as babies. And each has the danger of making us doubt ourselves, our bodies, our needs, and our security in the world.

We are taught to ask permission for everything - taught that there is always someone or something with authority over us, from whom we must seek approval or consent to do… anything. And, in this modern world, we are even taught that we need permission to feel, look, or act… any way.

Don’t get me wrong - I understand that, in order to live, interact, and work with others, there need to be guidelines. We need to respect others’ thoughts, ideas, safety, and autonomy.

But we also need to relearn how to respect our own.

So this is your permission slip.

You hereby have permission to:

• Feel your feelings

• Listen to your body

• Move in a way that feels good

• Rest

• Nourish yourself no matter what

• Let go of relationships that do not serve you

• Try

• Fail

• Succeed

• Fit in

• Stand out

• Say yes

• Say no

• Love big

• Love yourself

• BE yourself

If permission is a form of authority, then I encourage you to reclaim authority for your own choices, your own life, and your own body. Rebuild the childlike trust in yourself and give yourself permission to be.