The Gift of Connection
A certain quote always comes to mind when I reflect on the hustle and bustle of this season. It comes from a Christmas movie that is very dear to me—The Bishop’s Wife. It reads as follows:
“You give me a book; I give you a tie. Aunt Martha has always wanted an orange squeezer, and Uncle Henry could do with a new pipe...”
To me, this litany of gifts calls to mind the irony of the fact that while almost obsessing about giving the perfect material gifts to our loved ones, we often forget the most powerful gift of all: connection. How many times do we find ourselves at a family gathering, too distracted by our to- do lists to exchange more than pleasantries with people we rarely see? (I know that I am guilty of this, and not just during the holidays). Maybe, instead of that orange squeezer, what Aunt Martha truly needs is a genuine “How are you?” and a long hug after a particularly lonely year. Perhaps Uncle Henry is just dying for someone to ask about his stamp collection, so that he can share his knowledge of and passion for each tiny detail. Perhaps what they crave most is connection. We all do.
The holiday season is simultaneously the most joyous and loneliest of seasons. Feelings of childlike excitement abound, but are often inevitably overshadowed by old wounds, family discord, and longing for loved ones lost. To put it bluntly, we are all dealing with something. While love and celebration are amplified during the holidays, our individual struggles are amplified alongside them. The good news is, where there is shared experience, there is abundant opportunity for compassion and connection. As humans, we crave connection. It holds the potential for profound healing. But, for this to occur, we need to turn outward long enough to implement it.
This observation is not meant to induce guilt or brush aside material gifts altogether. Rather, it is meant to encourage all of us to look outward—away from our own busyness and personal preoccupations—long enough to offer the gift of connection to a fellow human. After all, we are all in this together. Whether it is our Vibe Vault community or the human community as a whole, connection has an undeniable impact. If our community is thriving and building its members up, those members will thrive individually. The need for connection is built into our very nature. We are all stronger together.
This holiday season, let’s look for opportunities to really see each other. It can be as simple as giving a genuine “Thank you” to the person who hands us our coffee, or making a point to ask a friend about that one subject that you know makes their eyes light up. Instead of rolling your eyes, start a conversation with that annoying cousin who never stops talking—they may just need someone to really listen to them.
All of these things may be more difficult to give than that book, or tie, or orange squeezer, but the gift of connection will always be worthwhile. Your passing smile may be the one meaningful interaction a person has in a day, so make those interactions count. Every community could do with more compassionate interaction, and that can only start with each one of us.