On Facing Fear
This month we have been talking about facing our fears in a variety of different realms.
But the ideas of fear, courage and what it takes to face or possibly even overcome that fear is a wide and interesting topic, and I believe that we have only scratched the surface. Let’s dive a little deeper.
As usual, I want to start with the raw definition. The dictionary defines fear as:
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain;
or
a threat or an unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined.
One thing that both definitions agree on is that fear is unpleasant. The other is that it is generally induced when there is either a threat or perception of danger.
The threat or danger can be physical, mental, real or imagined. It can be a threat to our body, mind, soul, comfort, social position or any other facet of our lives. And what each of us considers a threat can be unique to us.
So what do you fear?
Some people are afraid of the dark - the unknown, of what is lurking out of sight. Some are afraid of heights. Or of strange places, or dark alleyways. Or of flying.
But what about fears that are more amorphous? Fear of failure. Fear of being alone. Fear of rejection.
While most people can rationalize fears that involve (real or perceived) threats to our lives or safety, it is important to understand that the second set of fears are just as valid and can have just as severe an impact on a person and the way they live their life.
And just how does fear impact our lives?
Fear affects us physically, emotionally and mentally. And can be both beneficial and detrimental, depending on the circumstance.
While fear is first recognized by the mind, it triggers a series of physical responses. Different parts of the brain are set into hyper-vigilance while other parts, those deemed less integral to escaping the situation causing the fear response, are slowed down or blocked out. Hormones including adrenaline and cortisol are released, your blood pressure and heart rate may increase and your breath often becomes quicker. All of this is to prepare your body for fight or flight, whichever is deemed the most effective response to the trigger at hand.
In addition to these physical responses to fear, however, it also affects our decision making and emotions, which can have a tremendous impact on how we choose to live our lives.
That is not to say that there isn’t a place or purpose for fear in our lives. Healthy fears help us to discern safe situations from dangerous ones, and can be essential for survival. It can serve as a warning system and a protection mechanism.
But what happens when that warning system is on high alert and tries to protect us from everything - even the things that can help us to flourish, grow and thrive?
This is where the hard work comes in.
The first step is to recognize and identify our fears. Examine the situations when you have felt those physical and mental reactions that indicate that something is not right. The more you can identify not only the trigger, but also the root cause of that fear, the better you will be able to start seeking out a solution.
But where do we go from there? How do we actually face our fears and why does it matter?
The first step, once you have recognized and identified your fears, is to evaluate them and determine how they are affecting your life. If your fear is of, say, snakes, and it is not interfering with your day to day life, then maybe you can set this one aside for a bit. But if your fear is of public speaking and it is holding you back from pursuing a career you love (making presentations, speaking in large meetings) or being the friend you want to be (making a toast at a friend’s wedding), then this is when you know you need to take action.
The best way to overcome a fear is to create a clear action plan that allows for small steps along the way. While there are those who jump right in and attack their fears head on, for most people that can actually be pretty traumatizing and have negative repercussions. But slow and steady exposure will help you to understand that the situation does not pose the threat or the danger that your mind has tried to convince you that it does. Gradually exposing yourself to situations that once caused anxiety can help rewire the neural pathways that were creating the habits that were holding you back.
Which leaves us with the big question - why bother?
Fear can be debilitating. Paralyzing. Detrimental to our physical and emotional well being. And, left unexamined, uncontested and unrecognized, fear has a tendency to feed on itself and grow until it has taken over much more of your life than you could have imagined. Fear can stop you from learning who you are capable of being. It can rob you of joys and experiences that you deserve in your life.
But the not-so-simple act of facing your fears is a very powerful thing indeed. Not only does it allow you to open up possibilities of activities and experiences, it firmly pushes you along the path to personal growth. Recognizing and working towards breaking down our fears allows us to live actively, rather than passively. Facing your fears is a huge step towards living a conscious, fulfilled and authentic life.
Fear keeps us trapped in a false sense of comfort and safety. While it exists to protect us, the opposite usually occurs. Allowing our fears to control our lives, our thoughts and our decision making keeps us living small, unfulfilled lives. Here at Vibe Vault Fit, our goal is to help you expand your sense of safety and of self and to realize the full scope of your beautiful potential.
It takes significant courage to face our fears. But remember - courage is not the absence of fear. I am not at all insinuating that to be courageous means to eliminate the fear. Rather, courage cannot exist without fear. It is the existence and recognition of fear that makes an action, thought or decision courageous.
Start small. And start as slowly as you need to.
We believe in you, Vibe Tribe! Face your fears and unlock your vibe!